World meeting sketches
by Lina Destin3
Summary: How many idiots does it take to get England to leave a world meeting? Among many other various comedy sketches for Hetalia.
1. Chapter 1

England: FOR THE UPTEENTH TIME! If we cannot come up with a civilized agreement by the end of the next hour I am leaving!

Austria: Leaving early? That is the best idea I have heard so far!

Germany: NO ONE IS LEAVING!

China: You immature nations are nauseating. Giving up is not an option in China. If everyone calms down and puts our heads together, we'll come up with something.

England: I can't see how that is possible given we are all so different.

America: Right... but can you see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Cr...

*door slams*


	2. additional unrelated sketch

Germany hears a mess of piano keys being banged on at once.

Austria: AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! *spazzes around like crazy trying to get the squirrels out of his pants*

Prussia: *laughing for 5 hundred years*

Prussia: *gets put on oxygen at the hospital*

Prussia: *still laughing*

Prussia: *a [mysterious] piano tied to a rope falls on top of him after the rope snaps*

A/N: I guess some of you subscribed because you want to read more random sketches? So I'll continue this fic with my tiny as in very short sketches that I come up with. But my longer, better ones I post individually. By the way this sketch was inspired by Phineas and Ferb "Squirrels in my Pants."


	3. Jazz music

Author's note: So I just came up with a sketch, and then after it came to me I REALIZED IT'S THURSDAY TODAY! Haha perfect!

(Americans tend to be a fan of the styles and cultures from past decades)

*Sealand and England see a very relaxed America approaching them with a plaid suit and 1950's glasses on.*

Sealand: Whoa, America. Nice outfit!

1950's America: Naaattt. (pronunciation: Natch, means "naturally") How's it goin', Sea-boy? *scruffs up Sealand's hair*

England: What has gotten into you this time?

1950's America: Jaaaazzz music, Daddy-O. *snaps fingers*

England: *groans* You take this "tbt" thing of yours far too seriously.

1950's America: *smiles wide and waves them off with one arm, the other in the pocket of his plaid pants* Catch you cats on the flip.

~Meanwhile, others aren't as fond of bringing up the past:

Prussia: Hey, Austria! Remember when...

Austria: Yes.

Prussia: But you didn't hear what I was going to...

Austria: I remember.

Author's note: America's 1950's lingo and relaxed vibe in the first scene were inspired by a certain character from the anime "Kids on the Slope." It's a really good anime and you should check it out, just saying. Only 12 episodes, you can binge watch and get it over with fast haha unfortunately. The second scene with Austria and Prussia was some meme or tweet, some kind of post that I saw that I thought immediately of them. So I had to have them do it.


	4. personally victimized

Author's note: I'm going to start off this chapter with a tiny sketch that's a continuation of the last jazz music chapter. But, DISCLAIMER, I did not write this okay. My sister wrote it and even she didn't write most of it, it's a knock off of a hilarious Austria post we saw. I was debating whether I should use it in this story because it's not written by me, but it's too funny to skip. Just heed my disclaimer.

*Later that day*  
Austria: Makin' my way downtown, walkin' fast...  
1950's America: What's up, Daddy-O? Your piano skills are flyyy. You ready to jive on the scene with me and the cool cats?  
Austria: WALKING FASTER.

Author's note: Okay, now onto the sketch I came up with today.

Meanwhile, at the World Meeting.

Germany: All right, Poland. The floor is yours, go ahead.

Poland: *starts speech off strong and dramatic* Raise your hand if you have ever felt personally victimized by...

France: *raises hand*

Romano: OH FRANCE, GO HOME!

England: Raise your hand if you have ever felt personally victimized. France raises his hand. Vive la resistance. My hobbies are going on strike, etcetera etcetera... now, let's continue.

America: *glares at the mug of tea England now lifts to his lips and then continues sketching Captain America throwing tea into the Boston Harbor in his Meeting notebook*

Poland: *takes a deep breath because he doesn't like being interrupted* Raise your hand if you've ever felt personally victimized by...

Italy: PAAAAASTAAAAAAA!

France: *jumps out of his chair, lifts his hand high*

 **World News Front Page:**

 **England quits the UN**

Author's note: Keep up with me on Youtube if you want. I'm totallyspytrue.


	5. French VS English Showdown

France: Hi Europeans, and by Europeans I mean the French. The English are about as charming as their eyebrows. That's why the world prefers...

England: The English! We're sophisticated, classier, not to mention we can read. All the French ever do is...

France: Make the world brighter! I mean, nothing ruins an after party faster than a pack of the English! It's true, you just can't beat...

England: Us! And now that we've got our secret weapons, this is...

France: War!

England: War!

Both: War!

Both: WAR!

Author's note: Look up Sunsilk - Showdown on Youtube. You're welcome.


	6. Spelling Bee

England: Your word is independent.

America: *confidently looks around the room, starts to smile*

England: Oh no.

America: *American flag backdrop comes down, fireworks start spewing on the stage, America grabs some sunglasses and a microphone*

England: Oh no.

America: *pulls up a playlist of patriotic songs*

Judge: *nervous sweat* You do realize this is a timed response-

Canada: no. You've done it now... we're stuck here until Uncle Sam himself gets America to calm down.

Prussia: *props his boots on Canada's head*

America: *takes deep breath*

England: I'MSORRYYOURTIMEISUPNEXT-

France picks up his things and approaches the stage.

England quits his day job.

Author's note: My sister and I wrote this together. Teamwork! Goodnight, world!


	7. Woody's Roundup

Author's note: This is sort of a headcanon thing I made up... with a touch of comedy at the end. It's short so I put it in here. Toy Story fans rejoice!

DISCLAIMER: This is historically inaccurate to an obnoxious degree! I'm sure you can pick out all the reasons why *cough cough television was invented in the 1900s, and Toy Story was created much after that etc... just enjoy the story*

Colonial times, 1607-1776:

When childhood America was growing up in England's house, the TV was a never-ending fight between BBC News and Woody's Roundup, switching back and forth channels constantly.

Present Day, 2016:

England steps into the quiet living room in the empty house, slips off his penny loafers and settles down in the lounge chair.

He takes the remote and turns the TV on to BBC News.

The British gentleman rests his head in his right hand, elbow resting on the armchair, and sighs.

After a few minutes he starts to get impatient and jumps out of the chair to check the windows.

No one was outside in the vicinity of his house, so he closes all the curtains and sneakily slips back into the lounge chair.

England grabs the remote and changes the channel to Woody's Roundup.

The familiar tune "It's time for Woody's Roundup!" starts to play setting a deep, relaxed smile into nervous England's features until suddenly the front door is thrown open.

America: HEY ENGLAND!

The remote flies into the air, England dives face first into the carpet, the remote falls into his hands and the channel changes back to BBC News a second too late.

He forgot to lock the door.


	8. Canada makes fun

Author's note: I realize the sketches in here are written sort of lazily even though the content is good. I'm sorry, I'm used to writing in play format and plus I treat this story as a dump for my ideas. Since I have so many favorites and subscribers to this I'll start to write better. And speaking of "I'm sorry"...

Meanwhile, in a very maple leaf themed bedroom:

"Who are you?" Kumajiro asks that same question again. Canada gets sick of it so he plays around now.

"I'm America. And I'm the hero!" he replies in a mockingly fake redneck accent.

Cuba busts down the bedroom door and Canada launches himself out of the window and starts sprinting.


	9. Crime against nature

Austria: You're England, and you're sticking up for France?

England: I know. It's a crime against nature.

* * *

Cuba: You're Canada, and you're not going to apologize?

Canada: I know. It's a crime against nature.

* * *

Lithuania: You're Japan, and you're the normal one?

Japan: I know. It's a crime against nature.

* * *

Germany: You're America, and you're eating a veggie burger?

America: I know. It's a crime agai-WAIT WHAAAAT?

* * *

Author's note:

This is actually kinda old. I wrote it a long time ago inspired by the trailor for the most recent Garfield movie. Nickelodeon was playing it again or something so it inspired me and I had this saved in my documents folder on my computer for the longest time. Just posting it now, I hope it was worth the wait.


	10. Nikujaga

Author's note:

Headcanon that the rest of the countries always go over to America's house to celebrate Thanksgiving dinner.

* * *

Japan: *brings nikujaga to Alfred's house on Thanksgiving*

England: *glares*

America: Bro... what is that stuff? I can't even fit the pumpkin spice hummus on the table because of it.

England: Don't worry about it, Alfred. Japan is just jealous because he can't be me.

*banging sound as China slams a dish on the table*

England: *raises eyebrow*

Japan: *unreadable expression*

America: *huge fake smile while sweating nervously*

China: Japan is ten times better than you'll ever be!

England: What? You're always talking about how Japan is inferior.

China: He's inferior to ME. That's different

America: Weeeellll then I think we can change the subject

Italy: Pastaaaaa!

America: Perfect!


	11. Otaku Anthem

Author's note:

There are a few super tiny sketches in here that I thought of all at the same time. The guys have their country names and the girls have their human names.

* * *

America asks Amelia to go to the anime convention with him, Japan and France. She agrees.

Japan asks Sakura to go to the anime convention with him, America and France. She agrees.

France asks Francoise to go to the anime convention with him, America and Japan.

Francoise: *twirls her hair in her finger and gives France a disgusted look* ... No

He eventually convinces her and at the con America has his arm draped around Sakura. Japan has his arm draped around Amelia and France is standing next to Francoise who is covered entirely in a black cloak, revealing nothing but her eyes which are covered by a pair of sunglasses anyway.

France: If you're gonna dress like that you should've at least cosplayed.

Francoise: *looks at dorky America in his street fighter get up* No.

 _She secretly has high quality Sailor Moon cosplay hidden in the back of one of her closets._

* * *

At a library in England:

England's holding up a newspaper to his face while America chats away.

America: Are you even listening to me?

England: No

America: Well then you probably don't care to know that Amelia and Scotland are dating.

England: *shoves newspaper down from his face*

America: Great! Now that I have your attention, dude, check out this dank meme that someone poste... *England's fist lands in his face*

* * *

Headcanon that America is the only nation who can belch his national anthem and also willingly shows it off at the world meetings.

* * *

Hetalia high headcanons: (inspired by the fanfiction 'Hetalia High' by Slovenskych)

If America taught at an all boys school he would become best friends with every single student. He would be at EVERY game! No matter the sport. He would be "bros" with the captain of every sports team. The principal wouldn't like how friendly he is with the students.

Coach Bielschmidt (Germany) is the principal and at least once a week Mr. Edelstein (in the story he's just the band director but for me he would be the band director and the music teacher) walks into the front office pretends to feel faint and asks for a substitute. And Germany always says no because he knows he's just trying to get out of working. And Mr. Edelstein does it so frequently that now even if he just takes one step into the office Coach Bielshmidt immediately goes "No" And he lies and goes "I JUST wanted a peppermint! Rude!"

And during the long agonizing summer band practice days where the kids walk the field with their instruments Mr. Edelstein is relaxing on a fold out chair with a pink umbrella over him.

During one of Coach Jones' lectures, Mr. Kirkland knocks on the door interrupting class and so Coach Jones goes to answer the door with a grim look on his face and the entire class has grim looks on their faces. And Mr. Kirkland goes "I'm sorry but I ran out of chalk and Mr. Zwingly's such a cheapskate! And Mr. Berwald O just stares me down after I ask, it's a very intimidating way to not give a response..." he notices the grim looks on everyone's faces and sees what lesson is written on the chalk board. "Oh you know what! I just remembered! Mr. Honda probably has some chalk!"

Austria is relaxing at home. Meanwhile, at the school, a robot with a screen showing a life feed of Austria's face starts to roll into the principal's office and Germany instinctively says "No" before looking up. But then he looks up and the robot is glaring at him while it snatches a peppermint.

Austria's fired.

* * *

Author's note:

So that is just a dump of a bunch of little sketches that I had thought of recently and some I had saved but never posted yet. If you're worried about 'How does it feel to find out you're a nation?', don't be. The next chapter will probably take an extreme long while because there are an incredible number of scenes I'm going to write for it.


	12. Kindergarten Graduation Speech

Sealand has the kind of fresh play-doh brain that America, Australia, India and Canada can mold to be whatever they want it to be

At the Kindergarten graduation speeches.

Sealand stands up to the podium to read his speech

Sea: "My role model is a man like no other"

England's eyes sparkle in the audience

Sea: "He inspires me to be the best I can be everyday"

England lays a hand on his heart

Sea: "I want to be just like him when I grow up"

England mouths 'Of course'

Sea: "And his name is"

England stands up in the audience

Sea: "JOHN CENA"

America, Australia and Canada try to contain their laughter

Author's note:

An update on 'How Does it Feel to Find Out You're a Nation' it's coming along nicely. I have a lot of really great scenes written for the next chapter. Just hold on, it's coming!


	13. It's been one week

Spain: How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad? I'm trying hard not to smile though I feel bad.

Oliver Kirkland: I'm the kind of guy that laughs at a funeral. Can't understand what I mean? Well, you soon will.

Latvia: I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeves

France: I have a history of losing my shirt

Prussia: It's been one week since you looked at me

Belarus: Threw your arms in the air and said 'You're crazy!'

America: Five days since you tackled me

Estonia: I still have the rug burns on both my knees

England: It's been three days since the afternoon.

Italy: You realized it's not my fault not a moment too soon

Denmark: Yesterday, you just smiled at me

Canada: But it'll still be two days till we say we're sorry


	14. Fancy Steak HouseNyotalia Ghostbusters

Author's note: I'm sorry I'm taking forever with the second to last chapter of 'How Does it Feel to Find Out You're a Nation.' I'm going to get to it, I already have some of the scenes in mind. Here's a couple of comedy sketches while you wait.

* * *

Author's note: This scene is heavily inspired off of an episode of The Goldbergs.

Austria convinces Switzerland to treat him, KugelMugel, and Liechtenstein out to dinner at a fancy steak house because he says it will make Switzerland seem better than him at the world meetings.

So Switzerland's wound up like crazy the whole time. And when they're ordering:

Austria: And KugelMugel wants the T-bone steak.

Switzerland: That's the size of his head.

Austria: He'll finish it, I'm sure

KugelMugel: *in a panicked freeze*

Switzerland: *so angry he cannot breathe* Fine. But he better eat every last bite OR. SO. _**HELP**_. ME.

Austria: *lifts a wine glass to his lips to hide his massive grin*

KugelMugel: *shakes nervously*

Later on:

Liechtenstein had ordered a tiny fruit cup and she insists to everyone that she's not hungry even though they can hear her stomach growling.

Switzerland sweats nervously and very shakily lifts his hand to call the waiter to their table to order another meal. Then after two seconds he drops his hand, grabs a knife and saws KugelMugel's giant steak in half and drops the other half onto Liechtenstein's plate.

Austria rolls his eyes.

* * *

Author's note: This scene explores what it would be like if the Nyotalia girls were recast as the female ghostbusters and Female England wants to leave the group and go on her own. If you're not familiar with the nyo names. Amelia - Female America. Alice - Female England. Chun-Yan - Female China. Madeline - Female Canada. Anya - Female Russia. Francoise - Female France.

Alice: I've decided. I'm on my own now

Female China, Female Russia, Female America, Female France and Female Canada are the rest of the team she's talking to.

Amelia: What do you mean you're on your own?

Alice: I'm leaving you all

Amelia: Why?!

Alice: *completely nonchalant* Because I don't like you

Madeline gasps, heartbroken.

Amelia's jaw slightly drops and her gun rests limply at her side.

Francoise casually studies her cuticles

Anya's eyes glow an eerie purple

Chun-Yan huffs and folds her arms

Alice: *starts walking away, narrating as she goes* There's only room for one ghostbuster in this town and she's goinGAHHH *gets zapped and collapses to the floor*

Hidekaz Himaruya: AMELIA! I SAID FOLLOW THE SCRIPT


	15. Dodge Ball

Author's note:

The first sketch is taken directly from the movie, "Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen." The rest of the scenes are unique and made up by me! With some help from my sister!

EDITED: I added another sketch that I forgot to add when I originally updated this. The Rome scene is inspired off of a line from "The Goldbergs."

* * *

Teenage India is being peacefully angsty in his bedroom in England's house, going on a hunger strike to take a stand against the insensible British government.

England is in the kitchen, balancing baby Sealand on his hip, flipping pancakes and yelling up at India's bedroom. "WELL THE INSENSIBLE BRITISH GOVERNMENT IS GOING TO TAKE THE DOOR OFF ITS HINGES AND DRAG YOU OUT OF THERE"

* * *

Italy and Romano are standing disapointed, facing Rome

Romano (to Rome): The pops we know would hop the fence, crank up the music, and steal all of the knisches.

*long pause*

Rome: You guys really think I'm that cool?

* * *

America lays the feed on the ground for the cows at his farm in a way that makes all the cows stand aligned as the American flag.

He posts on Facebook: "Red White and Moo"

* * *

America lays the feed on the ground for the cows at his farm in a way that makes all the cows stand aligned as the words "I'M STUPID"

He posts on Facebook: "LOL THESE COWS LOOK SO DUMB, THEY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I DID!"

Romano comments: "Actually, from this angle it looks like you just announced that you're stupid on Facebook."

* * *

Prussia lays the feed on the ground for the cows at his farm in a way that makes all the cows stand aligned as the words "I'M GAY"

He posts on Facebook: "HA THESE STUPID COWS ARE SO GAY"

He's dying laughing until Austria and Germany comment that it looks like it means he's gay.

The blurry Mr. Krabs meme ensues as Prussia rushes to find the delete button.

* * *

Prussia takes a selfie with Austria in the distant background glaring at him from a piano.

He posts on Facebook: "I'M GAY"

Germany comments: If this is supposed to mock Austria... you failed.

* * *

The nations are facing off in a dodge ball competition during the world field day.

Italy is cowering in the corner of his team's side when all of a sudden he gets power smacked by a dodge ball and collapses.

Amelia: BOOYAH! YOU'RE OUT!

Germany and Romano are both scrambling to go help Italy and beating each other up on the way over there.

Alice: Amelia, you can't just hurl dodge balls at full force towards other people.

Amelia: But that's the name of the game!

Alfred: Really? I thought it was called Dodge ball.

Amelia: Alfred, I love you but stop talking.

Alice: Yeah, same, except I don't love you.


	16. No babies allowed

Prussia, Spain and France are getting drunk at a bar and Denmark and America walk in.

America: Yo, Prussia, we were gonna go sailing or something. You in, man?

Prussia: *his drinking has put him in a really cocky mood* nah that stuff's for babies. We were gonna spend the day drinking.

Denmark: Yes, dudes, I'm so in! *joins them at the bar*

America: but... you know I can't...

Prussia: *super lousy drunk* No babies allowed!

America: *chubby face puffs, squeezing back the tears*

A few moments later:

England was enjoying a relaxing shower when his house shakes from some massive person banging on his door.

America muffled from outside: ENGLAAAAAAAAND!

Canada was reading a book in England's study when he slowly closes it. Has the day come? Has America finally been bullied instead of him?


End file.
